Wholly Dependent

"Here Am I"

Dear Daughters,

In a few days I’ll be getting on yet another flight. The cool thing about my fourth flight in as many days, is that I’ll be meeting my dear brother-in-Christ, Pastor Wagih.  God’s sovereignty, his providence and provisions have allowed my schedule and his to be aligned as we board a flight in Denver en route to Orange County for his much anticipated visit.

About a year ago, I remember praising God for a new business and also asking for opportunities to serve our church in a different capacity. I wasn’t seeking something new due to a lack of contentment, I was asking God to direct my feet and not have my flesh use the increased demands of a new business, including increased traveling, as an excuse to not serve the body of saints.  What happened as a result of bended knees and head bowed down, was simply amazing.

Within days of saying God, “Here am I”, I received an email from one of our pastors asking if I’d be interested in leading a team to Cairo.  ”You sure you got the right person?”, I thought. Long story short, I ended up spending weekends, evenings in hotel rooms, and any other available time, planning for what came to be an incredible blessing to our family.

As I look back now and think back to the day I told my new business partner that I probably wouldn’t be available to work during the month of August, I’m in awe of my partners response.  In any business, it’s tough when an employee takes 3 weeks off for personal business. When you are one of the owners, and the business is in it’s infancy, it’s even tougher.  My equally yoked partner, who has been walking with the Lord perhaps eight times longer than myself, prayed for God to make it possible, and to provide peace in both of our hearts regardless of the outcome.  More importantly though, he prayed that we would both be in his will.

August of last year, I took that trip to Egypt. Even up until the last day, I didn’t think I would get on that plane! But, once the cockpit door slammed shut, my heart was at peace and my mind was firmly focused on the ministry at hand.

I pray then, that you are both given opportunities to serve your church with the talents that God has given you.  I pray, that he gives you a heart that surrenders to his will, his desires and the promptings of his spirit. It is my hope that you stand firm one day, and cry out “Abba, here am I…send me”.

Isaiah 6:4-8

4 And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. 5 And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”

Isaiah’s Commission from the Lord

8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

Dear Daughters,

Your mom and I love watching romantic comedies. It’s one of our few vices and what some folks would consider a “time-wasting” past time. Never-the-less, through the years we’ve connected through the music, our favorite scenes, or by traveling to places like Paris and New York to live out our own version of our favorite on-screen scenes.

But no matter what, whether it be me proposing to your mom in a horse-drawn carriage in Central Park or renewing our vows during some enchanted evening against the backdrop of a South Pacific sunset…the moments in between those adventures is what continues to take my breath away.

As I sit on my flight and listen to, “The Wee Small Hours of the Morning”, I can’t help but remember back to when your mom and I were dating.  Like the song, I remember lying awake at night…and that’s when I missed her most of all.

Funny how some things never change.  After nearly sixteen years together, we still love the same old movies, and I still try to keep her up at night to keep my restless self company.

Thankfully, no matter how impossible, or how spectacular a love story is written for people to watch on the screen, always know that I’ve known no greater love than the one God provided through his Son.

It’s my hope and my prayer that as the two of you watch love unfold in your life, that your mom and I serve as a proper template of real love between a man and a woman.  The type of love that does not boast, does not envy, does not keep track of wrongs, and always forgives.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on it’s own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but it rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Years ago I started down this journey that has kept me (at least recently) from being part of your everyday lives.  I still remember the conversation I had with my dad, your grandpa about wanting to one day become a writer, lecturer and public speaker.  It never occurred to me at the age of 15, that I would need to contend with certain sacrifices, most notably, being away from you and your mom.

Had I known then what I know now, I probably would have made better financial decisions earlier in life.  It may not have changed the outcome of having to be on the road so much today, but perhaps it could have given us the opportunity to hire additional help for your mom during my extended absences.

I have to tell you both, that she is a remarkable woman.  Most people may think that I’m the rock, the foundation of our family, but as you both are aware, our family’s foundation is in Christ alone.

Even as a humble servant, who has submitted to our Lord and his rules, my role as the spiritual leader wouldn’t be complete without your mom by my side.  She is the glue to my structure.  If I could describe her in a word, I’d have to say, that your mom is my hero.

Not the ‘come in and saves the day when I’m in trouble’ kind of hero. She’s the always reliable, never thinks of herself, maintains control, self-sacrificing, real-deal, genuine all the time type of hero.

Woman today are portrayed negatively when you consider the role of an Ephesians wife or Proverbs 31 woman.  I’m humbled by God’s sovereignty and his blessings to our household that he provided for the three of us, a woman after his own heart.

I pray that he has the same grace and mercy in store for your own hearts.

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

Proverbs 31

10 An excellent wife who can find?
 She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.